drowning.

0533, Monday morning. I have to leave in a few minutes for PT and my stomach is turning inside out- or atleast that's what it feels like. I'm so tired. contacts broke and I can't wear my glasses to PT so I'm going to be blind as a bat, it's also freezing outside. idk how I'm going to get back to the barracks after PT to change over or how I'll even get back to work. My mind never sits stil and instead of it jumping and spiraling through positive thoughts , it drowns in sorrow and worry. slow and painful. I hope I get hit by a car or my appendix explodes so I don't have to go on with BCP .